TWENTY-FOUR ROSE BUSHES

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts..." Isaiah 55:8a

      There was such a disquieting restlessness deep within, a need to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God cares about me.  I surmise, but not conclusively, there is a possibility the following turn of events provided and important clue.
 

      In the center of our circular driveway we had a lovely rose garden consisting of twenty four rose bushes of many colors and varieties.  They were gorgeous.  A joy to behold.  Our daughter Audrey loved all flowers, but especially roses.  Any day you might see her, camera in hand, taking close-up shots of a particular rosebud or bloom.

      In 1980, when Audrey was 17 years old, she was killed in a car accident.  Her dad, R.J., and I were devastated by this tragedy, as you can imagine.  Why had this happened?  In our attempt to cope with our loss, we began attending church.  After service one Sunday I said to R.J., "Let's pick a bouquet of roses and put them on Audrey's grave.  You know how much she loved the roses."  "Yes, I'd like to visit her grave," he replied sadly.  I picked a beautiful boquet of fragrant pink and red roses and we drove to the cemetary, which was only a few blocks from our home.  After placing the roses in the vase we spent a few minutes in sorrowful reflection.  "How could God let this happen?  He doesn't care about us," I said, wiping the tears from my eyes.  The pain in my heart was unbearable;  my life had turned upside down, and I felt so empty inside.
 

      Gazing at the grave-stone which proclaimed to the world in bold letters that our daughter is dead, my eyes would fall upon the beautifully carved rose I had the engraver place on the stone in memory of Audrey's love for God's exquisite creation.  Tearfully, we would drive home in silence.  It would take until about Wednesday to recover from the gloom that settled over us.  We continued this weekly routine for quite some time.
 

      One morning, after finishing the chores in the house, I went out to tend the roses.  As I walked toward the rose garden I was dismayed at the site.  Every rose bush was laying flat on the ground as though they has been run over by a steam roller.  I called to R.J. who was working in his vegetable garden, "Come and look at the rose garden, R.J.!  All the rose bushes are dead!"  He walked over and examined them and said in his usual matter of fact way,  "Well, it looks like gophers have chewed these rose bushes off just below the surface of the ground."

      To me, there was nothing 'matter of fact' about this scene.  At this point it crossed my mind that perhaps the hand of God was in this strange phenomenon.  Then recalling our weekly routine of visiting Audrey's grave it occurred to me  that we were spending far too much of our time grieving.

 
      "R.J., do you think it's possible God wants us to stop bringing bouquets of roses to the cemetery and get on  with our lives?  Did He use gophers to helpus change our focus?"  "It does look that way," he said, scratching his head.

      Although we missed Audrey terribly, we decided to begin looking ahead instead of dwelling on this tragedy.  Later on the Lord gave me a vision of Audrey walking with Jesus, holding His hand, smiling up at Him.  It brought such peace to my heart, I wanted to shout it from the house-top!  Then I wondered, why would God give me this reassuring picture of
Audrey safely with Him if He did not care?
 

      As mydoubts began to fade, a hint of belief was taking hold.  Just as a toddler haltingly takes his first steps, often stumbling and falling, but bravely picking himself up and having another go at it, so I must learn to trust God; take Him at His word.  God says He cares.  By faith I will believe it, just as David says in Psalm 139:17 "How precious also are Thy thoughts unto me, O God!  How great is the sum of them!"