SIGNS OF SPRING
"See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter
root grows up to cause trouble..." Hebrews 12:15

      It was the fall of 1989 and I had just recently returned from a ministry trip to Paris, France, with a team from our church.  Life was so exciting and wonderful!

      Shortly after my return I awakened in the middle of the night with an excruciating pain in my right shoulder, and, in my agony I cried out to God, wondering if I would live till morning.  Through tearful moans I cried, "Oh God! Is this sickness unto death?"  At this point I wasn't sure I cared if I died.

      The Lord answered me by saying, "No, you will not die.  You are full of bitter roots, but I will heal you as surely as the trees bud and blossom in the springtime."

      All in all, it was a very trying winter.  Every joint in my body ached.  I lived on pain pills.  I found it necessary to practically roll myself out of bed each morning.

      I went to a chiropractor because the pain in my shoulder had spread up into my neck.  X-rays showed that my spine and neck were deteriorated, and revealed past injuries.  The doctor said, "How did you injure your back and neck?  What happened?"  Not wanting any painful memories to surface, I stated as calmly as I could, "My first husband Patrick was abusive."  Flippantly he remarked, "You didn't duck when you should have...huh?"  I thought, what an unfeeling doctor--maybe he is a wife-beater, too.  I left his office with no hope of recovery.

      For the longest time, all I could manage was to move from bed to sofa day after day.  Putting on a pair of stockings was a major undertaking.  I thanked God every day for giving me R.J., my second husband who was so kind and gentle. When I felt discouraged because I couldn't even lift a cup to the microwave oven R.J. would say, "Let me get a cup of tea for you.  I'll take care of you.  Say, what do you want for dinner?  I'm a pretty good cook, you know."  It was very humbling for me to see R.J. take over the household chores.  I learned to hold my tongue when the dishes were not washed very clean, or seeing the kitchen floor covered with spills.  It took much perseverance to see things not done the way I had always done them.  I would close my eyes and thank God my husband was willing to do the cooking and cleaning.

      I asked the Lord to reveal the source of my bitterness.  It turned out that I was very angry at so many people from my past.  The Lord brought to my mind one incident after another where I had been abused.

      I discovered that, just as the sun comes shining through the clouds after the rain, as I let go of my anger, leaving it in God's hands, hope was stirring in my heart.

      With a measure of joyful anticipation, I kept watch on the trees out in the front yard, waiting for the slightest sign of a little green bud to appear.  On a particularly warm spring day I studied the branches of the trees very closely.  My heart quickened as I discovered some tiny green buds on the chinaberry trees.  I walked as fast as I could over to the flowering plum tree, and sure enough, the branches were laced with little pink buds.  Upon glancing up I saw that lots of buds had blossomed out in the upper branches.  I felt like jumping for joy, even though it was a physical impossibility!

      Just at that moment the realization struck me, and I cried out, "Oh God! It is spring.  The trees have budded and blossomed and I am not yet healed!  Why?" As I walked slowly back to the house, I wondered if I had heard God correctly. In my despair I reread my journal, looking for the exact words I had recorded.

      I declared, "Well, there is no mistake."  'As surely as the trees bud and blossom in the springtime, I will heal you,'  was what He said.  I had misinterpreted His words, assuming that the Lord would heal me by the end of winter.

      As I sat on my bed crying softly, the Lord gently spoke to me again, "As surely as the sun comes up morning by morning, I will heal you."  I said aloud, "There is no mistaking the meaning this time.  The Lord is going to heal me, but not on my time schedule."

      Shortly thereafter, my friend June came up to me church after and said, "Lenore, this Scripture from Song of Songs 2:11,12  is a word from the Lord for you."  I received it as such:

                                    See!  The winter is past;
                                          the rains are over and gone.
                                    Flowers appear on the earth;
                                          the season for singing has come,
                                    the cooing of doves
                                          is heard in the land.

      A surge of hope flooded my heart because I knew that, even though not all the bitter roots were gone, God would complete the work He had begun in me.

      Yes!  My "Springtime" would surely come...in God's timing.