IN THE DESERT

"Therefore do not lose heart..." 2 Corinthians 4:16

      Learning to be content in one's circumstances is a tall order, especially for people who like to grovel in a rut.  In my discontent at being a lonely widow, I said to God, "Sometimes I think You have deliberately set me in this lonely place to learn something, but I don't know what.  Is this a desert experience?  Am I banished away for a purpose, Lord?  I certainly am alone ninety percent of the time, plenty of time for writing, that's for sure!"

      Part of me wants to be a carefree, happy child again, skipping through the woods near the orphanage.  I want to again climb the tall trees and listen to the wind singing through the branches.  Why is life so full of problems?

      What am I saying?  I am longing for peace and joy.  Are they elusive when you become an adult?  Why can't I find those 'green pastures' David speaks of in the twenty-third Psalm?  I want to sit down and cry.  "Lord, I know You brought me through all the good and bad days of my life before I even knew You.  Now that I know You, Jesus, the road seems full of pitfalls, and I keep stumbling into them.  Can You tell me why, Lord?"

      "My dear child, look at Paul's life.  Do you think he never felt like sitting down and crying "why?"  Now look up these Scriptures:  2 Corinthians 4:8-9 and 16-18 and read them.  Paul wrote these declarations for your benefit."

      Verses 8-9:
            We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed: perplexed, but not in
            despair: persecuted, but not abandoned: struck down, but not destroyed.
      Verses 16-18:
            Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet
            inwardly we are renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles
            are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix
            our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is
            temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

      With a repentant heart I prayed, "Oh Lord, forgive my questioning and grumbling.  Build my faith to look beyond my circumstances and not lose heart.  Give me the strength to press on, to fix my eyes on eternity."