FEAR NOT
"When I am afraid, I will trust in you."  Psalm 56:3

     I have lived with fear so many years of my life that it is my first response when something happens.  I have prayed for God to take away my fear so many times.  Why can't I overcome this emotion?   The Bible says fear is a sin.

      Upon reading about some of the people in the Bible, I found many instances where very brave people became afraid.  Elijah is one of them.  When Jezebel threatened to kill him, he ran and hid in fear for his life. (I Kings 19)

      God wants us to trust Him.  I believe He goes to great lengths to teach us trust.  Yes, that's His plan.  But I've always wanted to know exactly where to step before moving forward.

      Let me tell you about a dream I had just before leaving for China.  In this frightening dream I was lost and all alone on a dark, deserted street.  The wind swirled around me, blowing dust into my eyes so I could scarcely see the outline of the tall buildings on either side of the street.  I didn't see another person or even a car anywhere about.

      Tripping over something in the street, I lost my balance and fell, losing my handbag.  While groping around on the ground searching for my handbag, a wave of panic swept over me.  Sitting down in the grimy street, I began crying over my plight when suddenly a thought struck me.  I almost shouted, "I know what I'll do, I'll call out to Jesus to help me!"

      Just then I woke up in a cold sweat.  I was shaking with fear and exclaimed, "Oh God, what is the meaning of this dream?"  Immediately, this poem came to my mind:

                        Oh Lord, when my feet falter and stumble
                        Shine Your light upon my path
                        Chasten me and keep me humble
                        I never want to feel Your wrath.

                        Now when the road looks dark and drear
                        And I think I've surely lost my way
                        Jesus, take my hand amidst my fear
                        Teach me to trust You day to day.

                        I will not put my trust in man
                        Whose wisdom relies on what he sees
                        Without a knowledge of God's eternal plan
                        He wanders all through life quite aimlessly.

                        Listen!  Only Jesus can sustain you
                        Through your darkest midnight hour
                        On the Cross He died to show a love so true
                        He fills us with His Spirit and power!

      Since so much time had elapsed from the time God told me to go to China and the date of departure, I was questioning whether God had actually meant for me to really go on this frightening journey.

      I didn't even buy a suitcase until just one week before I was to leave.  I remember watching my four-year-old grandson, Eric, trying to lock and unlock the suitcase, saying, "Grandma, why do you want to lock your suitcase?"

      I sat there staring at that new maroon suitcase and mumbled, "Oh, God, why are you sending me across the world?  You know how scared I am."

      That was the night I had the dream about being lost and all alone on that dark street.  Then I realized God gave me the dream, the poem, and the solution to prepare me for the problems I would encounter during my stay in China.  There were many moments when I was filled with so much fear I was shaking.  But I remembered to call upon the name of Jesus for help.  My prayers were answered in some astounding ways.

      Bottom line is, I was learning to trust God.